Longish post

I think I may have mentioned a time or two that my BF can be a bit, well, insensitive. I can deal with this most of the time. I know that it is just part of who he is. But other times I get so fucking pissed off at him for being a rude, inconsiderate ass. Like today for example.
We, meaning the two of us, together, are supposed to be taking a trip to Florida in August. Already, he has planned where we will be going, and where we will be staying. I’m perfectly fine with this, since he has been to the place we are going before and I haven’t. However, I would like to think that when we get there, we won’t be doing only things that he wants. Today, I found out differently.
Now, all of my friends know that I love to knit. Not only do I love to knit, I love to look at and shop for yarn. I have been known to wander around Sophie’s fondling the yarn, much like a cat marking its territory. I love fiber, what can I say? Most of my friends also know that K and I have been dating for over a year. I have been knitting since before he and I started dating, so it should have come as no surprise to him that I have been looking around the net to see if there are any yarn stores in the vicinity of where we will be whilst in Florida, and also if there are any worth visiting on the way down there.
First, K made the remark that “We aren’t stopping so you can buy yarn.” He doesn’t want to have to get off the interstate and go out of the way so I can explore yarn shops. That’s fine, I can understand that – it’s already a 12 hour drive, and we only have a few days to spend down there, so he wants to make good time – that’s cool. So then I mention that there is a store in the town we are going to be near that I would like to visit, and ask how far from Jacksonville we’ll be. (There is a store down there also, but I don’t want to drive a long way to get there) Do you know what his response to that question was? “This is not some yarn expedition”, said in a rather nasty tone of voice. To which I replied “Jesus Christ K, chill out.” So he looks at me and says “Fuck you.” Then walks off.
Now, I am willing to admit that maybe my response left something to be desired, but I hardly think it deserved that response. I should mention that K is paying for the trip. He wants to go on vacation, but I can’t really afford to right now, so he said he would pay for everything. I told him I didn’t want him to do this, but he insisted. The above argument is just one of the reasons I didn’t want him to pay for the whole trip. See, I know that he’s thinking, “Why should she have any say in what we do? It’s not like she’s paying for anything.” It becomes not our vacation, but his vacation, with me along for the ride.
After this fight, I am terribly afraid that the whole vacation will be all things that he wants to do, places he wants to go, with little or no consideration for me. K seems to like taking me places and doing things that he thinks I should like. Not what I really will like. It often feels like he doesn’t really know, or understand me.
So I am worried that I will not have a good time on this vacation, and so I will be angry and nasty the whole time, which will in turn make him angry and nasty, and then no one will enjoy what could and should be an awesome chance for the two of us to go away together and spend more than one night at a time with each other. Oh my, I am so conflicted…